First, a disclaimer: I am not a professional medical doctor, nor do I practise medicine. This article is based on personal experience and background knowledge. Use this information at your own risk. If something does not feel right to you, you probably shouldn’t consider doing it.

With that out of the way, I would like to clarify that I wrote this article in order to help a dear friend who has fallen into the depression hole. So, while I tried to make this article as generic as possible here on this site, it still has certain features tailored specifically for that friend.
On the other hand, once we get to the 3rd stage (as detailed below), things get very personal, and, therefore, cannot be discussed in a generic article. Because of this, the points discussed are intentionally vague and generic.

Let’s dive in.

Introduction

To the uninitiated, depression can be described as the inability to enjoy things, life, games, activities, etc.. And while we all have bouts of such feelings, a depressed person suffers from this on a wide scale and over a long period of time. So much so that it gets very annoying and it affects the mood negatively, leading to the stage of giving up trying to do anything, because nothing done can be rewarding anymore, so, why bother doing it.

While the brain’s rewarding system is broken, you see how the problem with depression is that the depressed person needs to have hope for a positive reward while they’re at a stage when anything and everything they do is not generating any reward at all. And the longer they’ve been depressed, the harder it gets to have a hope for a change. They feel like they’re in an endless tunnel with no emergency exists on the sides.

So why am I doing this? Why am I writing this article?

My depressed friend for whom I wrote this felt intrigued why I was helping like that. Perhaps she didn’t want to feel indebted to me somehow.
So I must clarify:

• “Pay It Forward“: Many angels have helped me in life. I’m just paying it forward. And doing it this way creates an endless chain of helping others, and makes the world a better place.
• My friend has already helped others in great selfless ways. This is fate paying her back.
• I have a long experience with depression. I’ve had several years with light depression, and a few years of mild depression. (I never had acute depression, and this might make this article inadequate for acute depression sufferers.)
• While the web is full of articles telling you to do this and that, to the degree that my recommendations would sound very cliché (and now what they call AI (actually GPT) will happily regurgitate the same information), I decided to share what worked for me, and what I believe would work for others, too, based on my understanding of the subject. In other words, I’m trying to share an experience, not simply a collection of checklist points I found elsewhere (which many silly videos on YouTube feature).

The Work Plan

The natural regular state for a human is a balanced mood. Depression is a reaction to a cause or a set of causes. It’s like the rash you get when you have an allergy.

Mitigation is by removing or managing the things that are causing the depression reaction (I will call them “stressors”). However, because the reward system is broken, the incentive to take action is very low.
This is why we first start with introducing some rewards and mood boosters, which help jump-start the mental state to start taking some actions towards managing the stressors.

Next, we start reshaping the environment around us to make it more comfortable and less stressful. Reducing and managing stress frees us from spending energy on dealing with discomfort, leaving us with a larger energy reserve to takle the big issues that are causing the depression.

Finally, the serious work begins. Now we have the minimum energy and mood to start facing the true issues and the deep fears that has pushed us towards despair. We will face them. We will own and destroy them, and we will rise again.

First Step: Boosters

Boosters jump-start the mood and help make other measures easier to start & handle.

Important Note: Do NOT over do/use the boosters, or else they may turn into addiction, and after every boost you’ll come back crashing into a worse state.

1. Music
2. Walking and Light Exercise
3. Sex and Orgasm
4. Food Treats
5. Warm Shower
6. Friendly Social Gatherings

1. Music

Music is the best booster of them all. It’s easy to have, especially when one is feeling lazy. It also works just like chemical drugs, minus the negative side effects.

Music is pretty cheap in this age and time, and even can be free. And this is a great thing.

Tips:

• Select calm or cheerful music styles. But, afterall, enjoy whatever feels good (even Merzbow’s Pulse Demon?! 🤔️)
• Avoid content that revives your memories of trauma or past hard times.
• Try to dance for an enhanced effect.
• Use a good quality headphones set. Get one if you don’t have it. I’m serious, it makes a huge difference.

2. Walking and Light Exercise

Most people report mood enhancements and energetic feelings after doing light (or even high intensity) exercises. I personally never get that feeling, but I would still recommend it based on what I saw happening with the others.

If exercising is too much for you, try a short walk (if you can walk) (in your neighborhood, if you don’t wanna travel far, or anywhere, really it doesn’t matter, as long as you enjoy it). Up to 30 minutes seems like a reasonable amount that gives the required boost without getting boring. Enjoy the scene while at it. Look at the positive things around you as you’re having your walk. Be appreciative for what you have.

Bicycle, Segway, or horse riding are also all good options.

Walking or exercising can be had for free (typically), and this is a great thing.

3. Sex and Orgasm

This is a sensitive and private topic almost universally, but it’s a fact that almost all adults do it, and it’s another fact that it does give a great positive mood boost.

Sex can be had for free (typically), and this is a great thing.

Note: Your beliefs or past experiences might cause you to associate sex/orgasm with negative feelings of guilt or pain. In this case, do not do it. This is a different problem that you should work on fixing later on. But for now, concentrate on solving your bigger issue: depression.

Tips:

• It is best had with at least one kind partner.
• Can be done alone for an easier quick fix, or when a *kind* partner is not available.
• For more enjoyment, do it in a comfortable environment: not too cold or too hot, no worry someone or something might interrupt.
• In order to get the full benefit, do it to the end of it.

4. Food & Treats

Nothing much can be said here. Make food that you like and enjoy. But please avoid junk food or anything prepared in a business shop (or restaurant), as those usually do not care for the health value in their products. Junk food is anecdotally proven to worsen health and the mood, and there is supporting scientific literature about this.

Tips:

• Reward yourself with sweet fruits, but no juices or other sweet drinks (if you must, let it be once a day or less).
• Salty foods, such as crackers and seeds have a high nutrition value and are healthful.
• Prefer food with high-fat, high-protein, and low carbs content. It’s known as the Low-carbohydrate diet.
• Avoid binging, as this worsens the mood after the incident.
• Prefer fermented foods (which are good for the gut microbiome, and eventually they enhance the mood). E.g.: Olives, cheese, pickles, makdoos, shingleesh…

5. Warm Showers

Many people get a mood boost from a good warm shower. This an easy mood booster that can be gained whenever warm water is available.

Tips:

• Make sure it’s comfortably warm.
• Don’t rush it. Enjoy it slowly. Take your time.
• Use scented soap/shampoo.
• Stay warm after the shower.

6. Attending friendly social gatherings

I know you’re bored and cannot bother to spend any effort with anyone for anything. But try this easier approach:

Sit with friends silently and enjoy following their conversations. Try not to drift with your internal thoughts too much.

It helps if you tell your friends you’ll be sitting silently. Explain to them that you’re depressed and it’ll help id they allow you to join them without interacting and without them addressing you.

Tips:

• Only choose the positive sittings with nice, kind, cheerful people. These should already be your best friends anyway.
• Join the chat if you feel like it. Retreat if you get tired.
• Stay silent if you like it.

Incorporate these boosters into your daily habits, and they’ll help you enormously with the next steps.

Reducing and Managing Stress

Once you got your mood boost, now you have some new-found tolerance and strength that you can use to enhance your environment.

While “reduction” of stress is understood as making it less, and even eliminating it, by controlling its sources, “managing” stress is more like mentally changing the attitude towards it. Managing can be by accepting it, ignoring it, or reusing it to generate a positive outcome instead of a negative one.

Recommendations:

• Start small: focus on the little things that are easy to fix.
  e.g.:
  • Replace that dead or flickering light bulb that always annoyed you.
  • Oil that squeaky door hinge that is disturbing your sleep.
  • Sew that beautiful but ripped pants, instead of pressing (and stressing) yourself to pay for a new one.
• Keep enhancing your immediate environment little by little. Leave the big, daunting, or hard things for later. Forget them, don’t worry about them; their time will come.
• Fix your diet. Do a Low-carbohydrate diet. And the following recommendations that help enhances your mental and body health:
  • #1: Avoid wheat (and anything made from wheat). Use alternatives, if must. e.g.: rice, corn flour, potatoes.
  • No seed oil. No margarine. Only olive oil, butter, and other animal fats.
  • Get sunlight or vitamin D (3000 I.U. daily).
  • Eat fresh vegetables (not sweet fruits).
  • Eat fermented foods (as recommended earlier) (which are good for the gut microbiome, and eventually they enhance the mood). E.g.: Olives, cheese, pickles, makdoos, shingleesh….
  • Avoid starchy food.
  • Avoid sugar (even if from fruits).
• Get rid of the negative people around you. Of course, if you can.
  • If you cannot eliminate them, at least draw limit line to your interactions with them. You can keep it formal, and keep the conversations short & to the point.
  • There are encounters that you cannot avoid, such as dealing with grumpy government workers. Just take it easy and keep the interaction very formal.
• Manage situations: Be smart about how to handle some annoying & stressful situation, and neutralize it.

This is where things get more generic from now on.

The Serious Work

Now that you’ve strengthened your mind muscles, and made your environment more appealing, less stressful, and more suitable for serious work on your core depression issues, it is time to dive in and face the monsters, then to defeat them, for good.

• Review your life’s history.

  How did we get here?

• Deep inside, you’re still that same little kid.
  That kid’s feelings & reactions are still with you.
  Don’t blame yourself for being yourself.
• Understand the events, people, and circumstances that shaped you.
  Stay neutral to yourself and your feelings.
• Find your fears. The true, deep ones.
  Your ego will try to block you. Be honest with yourself.
• Face the smaller monsters first, then grow stronger gradually.
• Do not ruminate (or think about) your problems. Rather, think about the sources of your problems.
  • They say understanding the problem is half the way to solving it.
  • You worries are distracting your attention, and are leaving you running after managing the side-effects instead of treating the issues from their roots.
• Inquisite and interrogate yourself:
  • Are you your own monster? Are you sabotaging yourself? (no matter how unlikely that might feel – be honest)
  • Are you sure you want to blame others or the circumstances to cover you own actions that you didn’t like or want their outcomes?
  • If you find that you’re actually hurting your own self, don’t whip yourself for that; just learn and understand your deep personality, and try to stop hurting yourself.
• Identify your frustration(s):
  A big cause for depression is seeking an outcome or going steadily after a target but never reaching it. The obstacles might seem infinite.
  • Enjoy the journey, not only the destination.
  • Make checkpoints or smaller targets along that journey, and enjoy achieving them.
  • Understand that obstacles are an intrinsic part of the journey. Plan with obstacles (& defeating them) being a sure thing to come at any point.
  • Gain insight and hope from heroes similar to you who have crossed similar paths. Read their stories of their encounters.
• Get out of your comfort zone.
  • After having spent a long time with depression, your mind starts to adapt by finding some behaviors, life styles, or habits that feel safe and comfortable.
  • You are feeling cozy and comfortable in this zone, and thus you will have the motivation to change or to exit it.
  • Getting out of depression requires that you exit this comfort zone, and therefore you are going to have to face a psychological resistance and challenges against (unreal) fears as you’re attempting this exit.
  • Watch how you’ve confined yourself to this comfort zone by linking your personality to your behavior and your being. You will say “I do this and that because I believe that this is what I want, or this is what I have to be doing”. But there are great opportunities waiting for you out of this loop to which you have restricted yourself, only because you’re seeking an imaginary feeling of safety.
  • Be aware of these feelings of fear. Watch your feelings as they come to be and evolve while you’re trying to push yourself out of the whirlpool. Keep on trying and you will defeat the fears.
  • Once you cross the barrier to change, everything becomes easier.
  • You must get out of the comfort zone if you want to grow strong again.
• Defeat the blood suckers:
  • The people and circumstances that have settled into a state that depends on your being weak, or that are actively making you weak, they are actually scared.
  • Once you show them you’re strong & have the courage to say NO, they will backtrack and disappear into the bushes.
  • Some of them, granted, might protest, or even put a fight, but don’t be intimidated, for they are really weak and scared deep inside.
  • Remember, they depended on you to survive. Without sucking your blood they’ll just wither away.

Staying Strong

Things to keep in mind after you’ve managed to return to your normal & better state:

• Depression creeps slowly, and we only notice it after it’s too late.
• Stay vigilant and act fast when you notice yourself going downhill. It all starts with little compromises here and there.
• Yet, while attempting to protect yourself, watch out to not become egocentric, ruthless, or unkind. Being bad to others is bad karma that you will catch up with you eventually.
• Be kind to yourself, and to others.
  • Give generously and don’t look back or think to regret what you did.
  • Love and spread the love.
  • When you are unable to love someone, imagine that you’re their mother or father and act compassionately, tolerate, and excuse.
• Practise being patient. Listen & think before you speak. Weigh the outcomes over the long term in favor of short winnings & gains (in social interactions).
• Learn from your past experiences effectively & avoid repeating your mistakes. But don’t punish yourself too hard if you did.

This, too, shall pass.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass